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Tag: Muslims

Unnamed Australian Playing Card Company adds new ‘Victim Card’ to the deck because white people want to play it.

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In an attempt to be included into minority groups, white people are now able to play the ‘victim card’ because of a new card that has been added to the traditional deck of playing cards.

Instead of having two Joker cards a pack of playing cards will now include two Victim cards instead.

Due to the recent controversy over what is considered ‘racism’ and what is considered ‘playing the victim’ it has been widely argued that white people have not been treated fairly when it comes to being oppressed by the white masses.

Paul Hanson said in an recent interview with The Gournalist: “It’s totally unfair, and quite frankly, it’s disgusting. Aboriginals, Muslims, Asians, and Women all get to play the victim card when we make a joke about their appearance or their culture. But what about us white folk? We feel victimised too. I mean when we…you know…get teased for…you know…when it happens…we can’t do it. But thanks to the new victim card we can claim we are being victimised during poker games.”

This recent change to the traditional playing deck was a reaction to the Adam Goodes booing campaign. Goodes who has recently played the victim card has made a lot of white people angry because he has feelings.

“White people need to fight for rights,” Hanson said. “We feel victimised too. I mean we can’t even call Muslims terrorists anymore without being criticised…I mean take a joke, hey.”

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Australians aren’t racist. They just hate Muslims.

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In a bid to rid the country of everyone who looks un-Australian, Australia’s population of white Australian people who hate anyone who isn’t white and Australian is going around punching people who don’t look white and Australian.

“We’re just fucking sick of cunts bombing us and terrorising us with their Muslim and un-white Australian way of life. I knocked some un-white terrorist cunt out because he had an un-Australian beard. I was terrified.”

Greg Stewart, a pure-blood white Australian bloke spoke to The Gournalist about how anyone who isn’t born and bred in Australia or white is a fucking terrorist and should be blown the fuck up.

“Me and a couple of me white footy mates are building true-blue Aussie bombs so we can go suicide bomb a mosque. That’ll show the cunts who’s a real terrorist.”

When asked about what an Australian looks like, Mr Stewart replied, “Just your average, natural-looking white bloke who enjoys watching the footy, slamming down a tinnie, having sex with drunk unconscious chicks, and watching more footy.”

Mr. Stewart was beheaded by The Gournalist shortly after the interview.

*Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono at freedigitalphotos.net