Australians aren’t racist. They just hate Muslims.


In a bid to rid the country of everyone who looks un-Australian, Australia’s population of white Australian people who hate anyone who isn’t white and Australian is going around punching people who don’t look white and Australian.

“We’re just fucking sick of cunts bombing us and terrorising us with their Muslim and un-white Australian way of life. I knocked some un-white terrorist cunt out because he had an un-Australian beard. I was terrified.”

Greg Stewart, a pure-blood white Australian bloke spoke to The Gournalist about how anyone who isn’t born and bred in Australia or white is a fucking terrorist and should be blown the fuck up.

“Me and a couple of me white footy mates are building true-blue Aussie bombs so we can go suicide bomb a mosque. That’ll show the cunts who’s a real terrorist.”

When asked about what an Australian looks like, Mr Stewart replied, “Just your average, natural-looking white bloke who enjoys watching the footy, slamming down a tinnie, having sex with drunk unconscious chicks, and watching more footy.”

Mr. Stewart was beheaded by The Gournalist shortly after the interview.

*Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono at