Australian universities will top the charts for best in the world.

by gournalist


In the past, most Australian universities have been placed quite low on the scale in comparison to other universities such as Harvard, Oxford, and Stanford.

This has all changed now with the government’s ingenious plan to increase student fees for every university in the nation.

Australian National University vice-chancellor, Ian Young, and his chancellor, former Labor minister, Gareth Evans have said, ‘Students should pay more. Technically speaking, if it’s more expensive, it therefore should be a lot better. I mean, think about it. What would you choose? A shitty $1500 Hyundai Excel or a $500,000+ Ferrari. I think most, if not all, would choose the Ferrari every time.’

With the increase in student fees, the University of Melbourne, Australian National University, and University of Queensland will top the charts internationally. The list has even seen the unprecedented inclusion of Queensland University of Technology, which is usually considered a “really expensive TAFE”.

Student fees will quadruple, which will inevitably see a decrease in enrollments from poverty-stricken high school students and artists, leaving them to enter into a trade, the fast food industry, or drug addiction.

*Image courtesy of Ambro /