Clive Palmer’s obesity is a result of him consuming his own wealth

by gournalist


 Courtesy of the Brisbane Times / Bloomberg

Billionaire, Clive Palmer, has told Gournalist that his ever-increasing weight is a result of his fear that he will one day lose his substantial wealth. His fetish for money and being one of Australia’s richest men has led him to consume thousands of dollars a day, literally.

“I started off eating about $500 a day, but that didn’t satisfy me, so I increased my portion to $1000 a day, and when I started getting used to that, I moved it up to $5000,” Palmer stated.

The General Surgeon has spoken out and said, “If he keeps this up, he’ll put on more weight and losing it would be a lot harder, say, if he had just eaten McDonalds or KFC. Because of the rise and fall of inflation and the Australian’s dollar market value, Clive Palmer’s body weight will fluctuate erratically.

It is said that Clive Palmer’s bank account is close to nil and it is believed that he has almost eaten his entire wealth. His status as one of Australia’s richest men hasn’t been tainted as he refuses to go to the toilet, which explains his gargantuan size.