Oxford English Dictionary to replace ‘really’ and several other words with the word ‘literally’.
In an attempt to stop the misuse of the word ‘literally’, several members working for the OED have decided to replace every word that is used for emphasis or to express strong feeling to the word ‘literally’.
“The informal definition of the word just wasn’t enough,” said Gary Stamford, a key contributor to the OED.
This drastic change will make statements such as, ‘That door was really hard to open’, into, ‘That door was literally hard to open.’
Other words that are in the process of being replaced are incredibly, extremely, actually, and figuratively.
People of the English speaking world are glad that this is happening because it doesn’t make them look like complete fools when they say, ‘I was walking down the street, and Mary, she literally ran across the road to get across to the other side,’ or ‘Harry literally fucked the hell out of me.’
“This will literally stop everyone from misusing the word ‘literally’” said highly commended English Professor Gregory Harrison.
This change has literally wiped out any figurative language and everything that was once a metaphor for something else is now literally literal and not figurative.
The OED is also in the process of banishing the word ‘while’ to bring back the constant use of ‘whilst’. Because of the archaic sound of the word people who use it will seem pretentious and wanky while seeming slightly more intelligent than others who don’t use it.